Loose Change

Never did I think, I would find someone like the man. Who would have thunk? That he would ground me... And make me fly at the same time? A friendship that just deepened, And felt right from day one. The soul mate I was not even looking for... And who, with his smile with that broken tooth,  Would leave me feeling weak kneed. Who would have thunk? That two people so averse to commitment... Would fall in love with the word 'forever'? The forever though was not to be. Just shy of 20 years and... I am starting life anew. With conversations with you in my head, my sweetheart. And support from our friends.  There will come a time when,  I will laugh and not feel sad right after. Just not today. Just not today. Us on our 18th anniversary Sharing a link to the song which I would sing ALL THE TIME with him. It took me about 6 years to find the actual song to share with him. He refused to believe that it was an actual song :) Thought that I had made it up! The song I would sing AL...

    About 5 months and a little more since I lost my best friend, my confidante, my life partner. And since then, I have tried to find solace in different things. Gardening and making the space all that we spoke of. Together.  Making cheeses in flavours that I think will work. Making plum confit with the abundance from our garden.  Manosh would always talk about my understanding of flavours and how I would love experimenting with different ingredients and creating something completely new.   Trying to do things that we loved doing together. But doing them alone.  Resuming cooking and enjoying the flavours as I keep experimenting with different ingredients in my food. And somewhere feeling...that am I moving on? Am I not keeping his memory alive in me?  And then, another voice makes me go and look and his photograph and have this conversation. Ask him if he feels this way?  No clear answers as I stumble along. Finding and charting my way through th...