Who is it that I am mourning for?
Yesterday a friend’s husband passed away in a road accident. Just like that! I pick up the phone to hear that Arun is no more…
Arun of the ArunKavya couple. Arun of the Crazy Coorgi Couple (that’s how I had christened them!). Childhood sweethearts, completely in love with each other… And suddenly one half is missing…
So whom am I mourning for? Arun who is not around or Kavya who is? Or am I feeling guilty about the fact that I yet continue to enjoy the small pleasures in life, when my friend is not?
Read an epitaph a while back. And I think this is how I could best describe Arun.
'While alive he lived'
posted by Anamika @ 12:04 PM
8 Comments:
A friend's mother passed away a few years back, and we went over to meet him after a few days. I came under fire from my other friends cause I attempted to take his mind of the unfortunate event by being cheerful.
Was I wrong? Am I supposed to make him feel better or mourn with him and make him feel worse?
why would you want to make someone feel better after their mother died? You charging in and being cheerful could have been disrespectful thats why your friends minded.
You can't make him feel any worse, dude. His MOM died. Get a grip and stop being in charge of your friend's happiness. Just be there and yeah, shocking as it may seem, SHUT UP when a friend is going through such an intense loss rather than attempting to jolly him up.
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Hi guys!
I think if we are there for the person...it would suffice. No words, no actins, no gestures...just your silent presence and support should do the trick that you are trying to achieve with your artificial cheerfulness (I am assuming that it's artificial, since you are feeling remorseful).
I guess what anonymous said made sense..be there and empathise...I think that should suffice...and yes your life can and should continue to move on!
Was travelling through blog space and came across your blog. This wouldnt happen to be Arun Madappa that your talking about, from the Ballachanda Clan?
well ... did i say i was artificially cheerful?? I am always cheerful .. in any circumstances.
though your intentions might be good Manish but dont expect others to accept this behaviour in a positive manner.
this was ur friend's mom's death and ONLY he cudve felt the excrutiating agony of bereavement. Only he cud be pardoned for putting up a brave face. though Camus have to say sth entirely different in his 'The Outsider'.
you, as a member of the society, are only SUPPOSED to be there with ur friend without giving in to the temptation of being smart or finding a role there. you must learn to respect the solemnity of moments even though you see hypocrisy in it, if you dont want to be alienated.
Anamika- Time dont heal deep wounds, but it teaches us to live with it. Life rules our emotions not vice-versa. It might sound cold but life never promises warmth permanantly.
Hey Nutty!
You got that bang on! It was Arun that I was talking about here :) I do know that he studied in Australia for a while...guess that's the down under connection.
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